Town House Galleria

Hotel description

Forgive, if you will, the seven-star rating. In these days of rampant star inflation, it takes an outrageous claim like this to get the point across: simply that the Town House Galleria aims to exceed the standards set by Milan’s already-luxurious five-star hotels (just as the Burj Al-Arab aims to be the most luxurious hotel in Dubai, which of course places it in an entirely different league of over-the-topness).

The location is a little bit bizarre, in the way a lot of great ideas first seem bizarre. The Galleria in question is the Galleria Vittorio Emanuele II, which is at once a cherished historical landmark and simply a cross-shaped shopping mall, complete with franchises ranging from McDonalds to Prada. It could be a tacky place for a hotel, or, a stone’s throw from the Duomo cathedral, within one of the holy places of the Milanese fashion trade, it could be the height of exclusive good taste.

Either way, once inside, the Town House’s luxury bona fides are unquestionable — actually even before, as you’ll be met at the airport or the train station by a chauffeur-driven Bentley. Rooms are the absolute height of modern luxury, this in a town that knows its luxury goods — even your loaner laptop is leather-bound. Here butler service means butler service, not glorified room service. Your own Milanese Jeeves occupies a position somewhere between concierge, personal assistant, and life coach, and we can all but guarantee that you can’t conceive a request that will stump him.

So no pool, no private island, no rooftop helipad; it’s the opposite of the Burj in more than a few ways. As seven-star hotels go, though, we know which one we’d prefer — and we’re at a loss to think of what it could possibly add, should it decide to strive for eight.